The rules of Scratch Ticket Radio are simple. During a trip to a record store, I put aside $10 to specifically spend on a few used 45s. The $10 limit is firm, so I end up with different amounts of records depending on their prices. Consistent with the gambling analogy, I do not listen to them in the store before I buy them, and I cannot select 45s by artists that I already know or that contain songs that I am already familiar with. Then, once I have them home, as if taking a quarter to a scratch ticket, I listen to each song to determine its quality. If I come out with more keepers than duds, the ticket as a whole can be considered a winner. 

Providence: Olympic Records

“All You Can Eat”

November 2024

With some extra time in Providence, I did what I always do – look for record stores. This time I headed to Olympic Records, a small shop nestled in the Fox Point neighborhood. I was looking over the really big 7″ selection and I ended up explaining the nature of Scratch Ticket Radio to the gregarious owner of the shop. He liked the idea of it, and walked over with a small box full of 45s. “Take as many as you want for the $10.” Sweet! I tried not be to be too greedy, and I took 21 records that met the criteria for inclusion. I also got a few odds and ends, including a box set of a shorthand course and a picture disk of Captain Kangaroo urging us to go to the dentist. Those are records to be discussed at another time. 

The Blue-Belles      (Newtown Records / 1962)

Weird history here. The Blue-Belles were Patti LaBelle and Nona Hendryx’s first group, but these songs were actually recorded by a quartet named The Starlets and released under the Blue-Belles’ name. The Starlets were not aware of what was going on, and ended up suing the label. The actual Blue-Belles went on to have hits of their own. 

I Sold My Heart to the Junkman: This cover of an older blues/jazz song sounds like a lot of other things (Please Mr. Postman, Mashed Potato Time, etc.) but is fun nonetheless. 

Itty Bitty Twist: One of a million twist songs. This is the one finally mentioning mom, dad and the little brother doing the twist, so the end was near for the fad. Also, it is worth noting that having somebody in a song named Joe really leaves you with a lot of options for the rhyme scheme. 

The Inmates (Warner /1980)

Given the name and the ties, I was expected something more new-wavey, but it turns out they were an English pub-rock band along the lines of Dr. Feelgood and the like. The B-Side is a live cut, and at the end you can hear the first few notes of Dirty Water. Their cover of this was actually their biggest hit. A few of their songs have been recorded by other artists, as well. This band should not be confused with The Inmates who were active in New Jersey in the 1960’s. 

Love Got Me: Not a great tune, but certainly serviceable. If The Reducers had covered it at one of their shows, I certainly would have danced to it. 

Jealousy: This tune is a bit more driving, but still a meat-and-potatoes kind of thing. 

O’Bryan  (Capitol /1984)

O’Bryan started off singing in his local church, later helped start a band and then was connected to Don Cornelius. Cornelius got him a major label contract and later O’Bryan recorded a new theme song for Soul Train. He had a number of songs hit the charts, but ran into some bad luck with various labels. He later made a bit of comeback after leaving the music business for a few decades. 

Lovelite: This would definitely get me on the dance floor. It seems like some people preferred his ballads, but I think this keyboard heavy R&B was the way to go. The B-Side is an instrumental version. 

Doc Starkes and His Nite Riders (Teen /1955)

I didn’t have a picture sleeve for this, so when I noticed that Doc Starkes’ back-up band was named the Nite Riders I got really worried for a moment. However, it turns out they were an R&B band, and not a KKK-adjacent musical act. 

Apple Cider: It is a stroll, but the slow loping beat, purposefully strained vocals and wailing sax help make it a bit more distinctive. The singer is obsessed with sweet apple cider, which I can only assume has fermented. The whole thing feels a bit off, but not wrong. 

Way in the Middle of a Dream: This is another moonshine-damaged stroll. I wonder what the rest of their catalog sounds like.  

Starpoint  (Elektra / 1985)

In comparison to Doc Starkes, I already knew where I was with Starpoint thanks to the picture sleeve. With those baggy clothes and nearly monochrome color scheme, this is unmistakably the 80s. Their original name was Licyndiana. Yikes! Good call on the name change. 

Object of My Desire: I don’t think I heard this on the radio, but maybe at a party? I can do without the wanky guitar lead, but the keyboard’s tinny electric din-din-din-din-din-din is certainly evocative of the era and hits the spot. 

Send Me a Letter: This is terrible. Really, really terrible. It sounds like something you would hear on a TV show when the main characters take a special trip to the Caribbean and end up conversing with a hip crab or some other local color. You know, like The Police. 

Ta Mara and the Seen (A&M /1986 )

I had never heard of this band, and then I started seeing their singles everywhere. Did they do something recently that made all their fans want to get the records out of their house ASAP? They were produced by Jesse Johnson of The Time. It reminds me of my friend Michele F. from New London, who was the first person I knew who was over the moon about Prince.

Thinking About You: This is a competent version of the Minneapolis Sound. I’m not sure that anybody in that crowd made something that wasn’t. However, this is kind of boring. Ta Mara and the Seen were a one-hit wonder, but this wasn’t the hit. It was Everybody Dance if you are keeping score at home. 

Long Cold Nights: This is the B-Side, but I think it is the better tune.

Midge Barber and the March Hares (Cardill /1955)

Apparently, this was a one-off recording by jazz singer Barbara Lea.  Ms. Lea thought the songs to be so atrocious that she didn’t want her professional name associated with them. She wasn’t wrong. Here is a cut that is more representative of the rest of her work. Cardill was based on Torrington, CT. 

Orange Suspenders: “Midge” woos the fellas by wearing her orange suspenders, as they are perfect for both ice cream and root beer “benders.” Well, you know what they say about those dissolute folks in Torrington…

Baby: If I had to take a shot of ice cream or root beer every time she says “baby” in this song I would be in a diabetic coma. 

The Bermudas        (ERA /1964 )

The Bermudas consisted of a mother and her young daughters, singing tunes created by the dad and a bunch of behind-the-scenes men trying to make it big. They did not. When The Bermudas went on TV to lip-sync/perform, they replaced the mom with her 12 year old daughter. That’s kind of creepy if you ask me. 

Chu-Sing-Ling: The tune is like any other girl misses soldier boy that has gone away, but in this case, it is a Vietnamese woman longing after an American GI. Typical of orientalist fantasias, you get the vaguely Asian strings and lyrics that feature non-standard syntax to establish the otherness of the character. You also get a mish-mash of references to various Asian cultures, including kimono dances and a name that is more Chinese than Vietnamese. What a mess. Bonus Racism: Dr. Chu Sing Ling was also the name of a villain on the 1960’s Jonny Quest cartoon, and he looks as bad as you would expect.

Donnie: Well, at least this one’s not racist. If it were a bit more haunted Numero Group would pick it up.  

Guy Drake (Royal American /1970 )

Welfare Cadillac: Drake was a country singer and comedian, and this is his biggest hit – story-telling cum op-ed over a laid-back country song. Punching down and full of stereotypes, the narrator is as broke as can be, but always has a brand-new Cadillac. He enumerates all the government-provided benefits he takes advantage of, and makes fun of people for working and paying taxes so he can laze about. Nixon loved the song and asked Johnny Cash to perform it at the White House. Cash refused because it disrespected folks on welfare. The label on the record itself actually misspells the title as “Welfare Cadilac,” because of course it does.  

Keep Off My Grass: An instrumental, thank the lord. 

The Nelson Trio (Guaranteed /1959 )

The Nelson Trio released three singles in the UK, and this is their one US release. They’re not good, but I’m a bit frustrated that I can’t find out anything about them. 

All in Good Time: What to call this? One online site categorized it as skiffle, but it is really just banjos from hell. It is like the music at a theme park where a giant squirrel is the mascot and the only thing you can get to eat is kettle corn, beef jerky and Raspberry Mountain Dew. 

The Town Crier: They punctuate that terrible pun with a tuba taking the lead. I thought the Geneva Convention outlawed this kind of thing. 

Somebody is selling this on Discogs for 25¢. I paid nearly 50¢. Call my lawyer! I was ripped off!

Roy Smith    (Vanguard /1975)

Smith was a blue-eyed soul singer from North Carolina, who cut a bunch of singles for different labels. I imagine him as the king of off-brand hotel lounges, and that middle-managers across the Mid-Atlantic states still speak quite highly of him to their trainees. 

For the Love of Her: This is a polite disco-y entreaty to treat your lady right. Helpfully, he shares nearly a dozen concrete suggestions for doing so. 

Going South: Where country story-song and slow-jam R&B meet. Not sure if it puts the soul into blue-eyed soul, but it puts something in. Maybe bathtub gin. Or apple cider. 

Various Artists – Datesetters U.S.A. 1961

Four songs from up-and-coming idols and fashion tips from Celanese, purveyors of teen-approved fabrics

This part is a no-brainer. You gotta go with arnel triacetate because it is the ease-of-care fiber. I don’t want to hear about no celanese acetate or celaperm acetate – I’m a teen on the go and I don’t wanna worry if my clothes can keep up.  

As for the guys? That is a bit more difficult. Dante (#2) clearly thinks he is all that, so I don’t trust that he would be faithful. Marty Evans (#3) doesn’t look like he fully understands what the assignment is. Benny Joy (#4) looks like he still hasn’t recovered from a recent heartbreak or other trauma. That means you, Bobby Keene (#1), are my guy! Take me on an ice cream or root beer bender and I’m all yours.

Janice Harper         Bon Voyage / Tell Me That You Love Me  (Prep /1957)

If I hadn’t personally flipped the 45 over, I’m not sure I would have registered that we were on to the next tune. With a label named Prep, I can imagine they put out a lot of this stuff.

Harlan Howard      My Baby’s His Baby Now / Someday Sweetheart (Capitol /1963 )

Howard is in the Country Music Hall of Fame, and wrote over 4,000 songs. I assume some of the other 3,998 are better than these two. 

Grayson Hugh         Talk It Over / Empty as the Wind           (RCA /1988)

Cream of Wheat seems spicy next to these tunes. 

Gloria Loring and Carl Anderson          Friends and Lovers / You Always Knew  (Carrere / 1986)

The song would fit perfectly in a rom-com version of the Muppets. 

Tommy Sands         Steady Date with Tommy Sands                (Capitol /1957)

Sands starred in an episode of Kraft Television Theatre called The Singing Idol. He had a few minor hits and small roles in a few films. He was married to Nancy Sinatra for a few years. Rumor has it that Frank had him blackballed from both industries after they divorced. I guess those boots walked all over him. 

Roy Shepard            I’ll Love You Til I Die /Tomorrow I’ll Be Coming (Tela-Star /1963)

Seem like a threat. Thanks for the warning. 

Sneaker                     More Than Just The Two Of Us / In Time (Handshake /1981)

Remember when REO Speedwagon were huge? That actually happened. Unbelievable. 

Sweetwater Junction         Late Night Blues / I Never Love the One I Lose (Panik /1985)

Check out these mustaches. 

Johnny Tillotson                 Heartaches By The Number / Your Mem’ry Comes Along       (MGM /1965) 

He lists all the things his former partner has done wrong, accompanied by a peppy horn section. If he was trying to get me back, I don’t think this would work. He really doesn’t sound so broken up by the whole thing. The B-Side gets close to Sing Along With Mitch Miller territory. Run, don’t walk!

VERDICT

     From a cardboard box that was the musical equivalent of the Island of Lost Toys, I’m actually quite pleased that I found six records that had some redeeeming quality to them. Although I don’t think that any will make the year-end mix, I will keep them in my collection. The rest were bad, of course, but at least six of those were fun to look into and read up on. That left nine that were plain old boring. Still, a perfectly acceptable ratio for a bit of micro-crate digging. It’s like habitually buying the newspaper or a magazine – not all the stories are good news, but I still want to know what happened.