The rules of Scratch Ticket Radio are simple. During a trip to a record store, I put aside $10 to specifically spend on a few used 45s. The $10 limit is firm, so I end up with different amounts of records depending on their prices. Consistent with the gambling analogy, I do not listen to them in the store before I buy them, and I cannot select 45s by artists that I already know or that contain songs that I am already familiar with. Then, once I have them home, as if taking a quarter to a scratch ticket, I listen to each song to determine its quality. If I come out with more keepers than duds, the ticket as a whole can be considered a winner.

This Trip: Mystic Disc (CT)

I used to go to this store when it first opened over 40 years ago. I was in high school, and it was the only place to find certain punk records or to pick up bootlegs. Once I picked up two bootlegs by the same band, only to discover at home that it was the exact same material. Doh! When I told him, the owner kindly offered to let me return one of them, but I declined. I figured if I was buying a bootleg, I couldn’t really complain about the nature of the contents. I’m happy that the store is still there in 2024, and even better, their singles are $1 a piece!

Special Rules: For this edition, I only selected 45s with picture sleeves. In the case of a tie (one good tune, one bad), a quality cover could break the deadlock. Theoretically, a terrible picture sleeve could also negate a single with two quality songs. 

Chris Hodge (Apple / 1972)

We’re On Our Way: This was so over the top it brought to mind Rocky Horror. Spaceships, hurricanes, thunderstorms, bongos and lot of ooh-aahs about bringing truth to Earth. Additionally, there is just no way to sing about a “sexy lady” without sounding like a creep. Maybe if you are a grizzled Blues guy you can pull it off, but certainly not if you are a milquetoast English pop singer.

Supersoul: This side adds to the maximalism with a wah-wah guitar, cheesy keyboards and a sax solo. Run!!!

Picture Sleeve: No false advertising here, so I have to give it credit for that

The Verdict: Somehow this charted in the US, but nowhere else. Hodge made a few other singles that didn’t chart anywhere and he never made an LP. No wonder Apple went bankrupt. This is a hell no.

Engine No. 9            (Bus Stop /1991)

Sleep: Catchy C86-influenced jangly guitar with noisy breakdowns. Yes, there was a lot of that stuff going around in the late 80’s and early 90’s. In some ways, Sleep is like a polite version of Dinosaur Jr., or at least one that would say more than five words to you if you shared a car ride with them. 

Waterfall: Slow, drab shoegaze-lite. Then it speeds up to no good effect. Not sure what they were going for. 

Picture Sleeve: Bus Stop has been compared to Sarah Records in its focus on lo-fi/twee pop, and it was an early promoter of that sound in the US. In keeping with that vibe, here you get a picture sleeve with a clean color scheme and design. In addition, the train looks like a slightly nostalgic woodcut. This sleeve definitely sets the correct mood for listening to the songs. 

The Verdict: The record came with an insert that indicated that Engine No. 9 had changed their name to Fudge. The background image was a photo of three young kids sitting on toilets. Unfortunate. However, I hadn’t included anything about inserts in the judging rubric beforehand. Thus, the picture sleeve breaks the tie. This is a lukewarm yes. 

Hilary Laddin         (What Records? / 1980)

The Sell: This never really swings or kicks into gear. I got the sense that if it were a few years older it would have been glam rock along the lines of Sweet, and a few years later it would have had a more obviously new-wavey vibe. As it stands, I think it is kind of stuck between sounds. I know others disagree. 

City of Fame:  This also doesn’t really go anywhere, but it does nicely exemplify the mix of grime and cheap uppers that characterized a lot of independent rock in 1980.

Picture Sleeve: At first glance, I believed the band was The Sell and the song was Hilary Laddin. For that reason, I thought the cover image meant to imply that a private detective was looking for somebody who had gone missing. Instead, it is meant to suggest Ms. Laddin was being viewed as just another commodity. I guess that works, too. She spent time in The Leaving Trains and The Martyrs (the late 70’s LA punk band, not to be confused with a bunch of other bands with that name), so a song about exploitation and selling out makes sense. And speaking of Rocky Horror, I can’t be 100% sure, but it appears that Hilary Laddin might have been in a famous Rocky Horror cast in West Hollywood. Finally, What Records? was home to a number of seminal LA punk bands, and should not be confused with What? Records, an A&M offshoot that released religious music. Got all that? 

The Verdict: I wouldn’t change the station if either of these songs came on the radio, but I would not stay in the car to listen to the end, either. A polite no. 

The Juicemen          (Tow Tunes / 1991)

I’ll Rest Today: Forgettable, possibly because it sounds like pieces of a bunch of other mediocre songs cobbled together. There is also an odd violin break (provided by Joan as Police Woman, as it turns out). 

The Road: Bad attempt to rawk out. 

Picture Sleeve: This terrible cover just adds insult to injury. 

Verdict: I really brought this on myself. You know when people say, “Can you smell this? I think the milk has gone bad.” Well, I went ahead and smelled it. Idiot.  

L.T.D.                       (A&M / 1977)

(Every Time I Turn Around) Back in Love Again: This was the audio equivalent of those coffee beans they have you smell between checking out different perfumes. It was a cleansing restart, and for that reason I may be overrating it. That said, it is perfectly competent R&B with some funky touches.  

Material Things: It is a bit funkier than the A side. I wouldn’t get off the dance floor if this was playing, but I’m not sure it would get me on it. 

Picture Sleeve: So much is going on here. Is she an alien? An android? A contestant at a swim meet for drag queens? I’m really left with more questions than answers. Also worth noting is that on the copy I got, one Laura Smith wrote her name on the label for Side A. Laura Smith also wrote her name down on the label of Side B. Laura Smith also wrote her name on the inside of the picture sleeve. Hey, everybody! This 45 belongs to Laura Smith!

The Verdict: This was a hit, but if I had heard it, I had completely forgotten it, and them. L.T.D. stood for Love Togetherness and Devotion, which is way better than their original name of Love Men Limited. Some members of the band had played backup for Sam and Dave, and Jeffrey (On the Wings of Love) Osborn was their singer at the start. I didn’t know that he often sang the national anthem at the start of Hartford Whalers games. That’s almost as big a W for the Whale at their theme song. Oh, back to the record – this is an unqualified yes. 

Sa-Fire          (Polygram / 1987)

Thinking of You: From the singer’s name and her attire, I was expecting something more along the lines of The Jets or Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam. Sadly, it is more like Madonna circa At Close Range – a tepid mid-tempo pop song with a ponderous guitar solo. I know it is a tribute to her late uncle, but it is hard to listen to. 

Let Me Be The One: Ah, OK! Here we go! This the Latin Freestyle vibe I was anticipating. Turns out Sa-Fire was indeed active in that scene. I’m a bit of a sucker for this sound (e.g., Shannon, with one of the greatest songs ever) and it would certainly have gotten me on the dancefloor. Hell, it got me dancing in my apartment. 

Picture Sleeve: The photo is standard-issue pensive female singer, but the color scheme is somehow evocative of a bronze era comic book cover. I’m not saying it’s great, mind you, but it does the job. 

The Verdict: Even if just barely, this is a winner. It has a solid B side with an unproblematic cover. However, an important question remains – which is better, Crush on You or I Wonder If I Take You Home? It’s a tough call, but I think I’d have to go with Crush on You. (Yes, yes, I know it a Minneapolis thing, and not Latin Freestyle. Still a great tune.)  

The System              (Atlantic / 1987)

Don’t Disturb This Groove: This is like the soundtrack to the dating montage that comes right after a meet cute in a bad 80’s movie. 

Modern Girl: The song wasn’t there! It was just another mix of Don’t Disturb This Groove. I want my 50¢ back!!! Or is it like 75¢ for the A Side, and then 25¢ for the B side? 

If so, I want my 25¢ back!

Picture Sleeve: “Hey, divorced dads can be totally cool, am I right?” 

The Verdict: How did this thing hit #1 on the R&B charts? Where is the groove? This System is a downer. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist).  

The Semi-Beings     (Inkling / 1994)

I Am: Yikes. Dave Matthews fronting Pearl Jam covering Eagle Eye Cherry? Just for fun, why don’t you try to come up with your own mix of three unfortunate 90’s bands – maybe it will be a better description than mine. 

In: I Am, but with a Bo Diddley beat. 

I’m a Man: Despite the actual Bo Diddley title, now it sounds like they started listening to Love.

Picture Sleeve: I was attracted to the Rothko-like cover, but concerned about the band’s name. I shouldn’t have believed my lying eyes. 

The Verdict: This New Jersey band had a small measure of success, playing around the region and releasing an album on Shimmy Disc. I have to give credit to whichever friend or family member wrote their Wikipedia entry. It notes the singer had a great voice, the guitarist was truly gifted and their record was a local classic.

My favorite sentence regards their name: “The word is only now starting to be used in the vernacular and as yet cannot be traced to being used before the band.” This has to be a bit, right? I wish the record was as fun. 

Even As We Speak (Sarah /1991)

Beautiful Day: From Bus Stop to an actual Sarah Record. This is quite odd, almost like an indie approximation of Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey. It starts and ends with typical jangle pop, but in the middle of it there is an odd section where the music gets woozy and distorted while a guy starts singing a sea-shanty like thing about a guy going to Japan and dying from drinking too much sake. What? 

Nothing Much At All: Almost the same thing here. Starts with a regular old twee pop song, then gets into some atonal free jazz-like piano, then goes back to the original melody. 

Picture Sleeve: This certainly piqued my interest. Over time though, in person the green became a bit hard to look at.  It may be hard to make out, but that is a shopping cart overturned in the foreground. 

The Verdict: Some reviews said that during their live shows The Semi-Beings seemed like two different bands from song to song, so it wasn’t really a surprise when they eventually broke up into multiple bands. With Even As We Speak, it is like two different bands within the same songs. One is passable, the other seems like a put on. 

The Iron-Ons  (Insta-Noise / 1993)

Waiting: Pretty standard pop punk, perhaps with a bit more low-fi production than some others of the time that were striving for major labels. That keeps it from sounding too slick, but there is nothing particularly distinctive here.

No Room For You: Brings to mind 30 Amp Fuse, but 30 Amp Fuse is great. This is not. 

The Question: This has a touch more Green Day to it. That’s generally not a good thing. 

Picture Sleeve: I guess the single’s title (Maximumnewwave) was a goof on The Who’s Maximum R&B, but I’m not sure what the point is. The early 80’s look also made me worried that this was going to be some kind of parody record. It wasn’t.

The Verdict: There are probably a million of these mid-90’s pop-punk singles out there. If the Iron-Ons had fun and didn’t hurt anybody, good for them. Unfortunately, this single is dull. 

I think I might need to revisit my expectations. On the one hand, 3 out of 10 is not good. On the other hand, if I was playing baseball, a .300 average is nothing to sneeze at.